One day too long....

It's not what I want at all, but I guess I don't really have a choice.
I will do what I can, ride away to forget.
Push with my muscles, feel the pain.
Forget my heart, "be like a normal human".
Some how I must match this effort to let go.
Ride, ride, ride, ride....


What did I expect? It's going just how I thought it would. (maybe that's the problem, I let that negativity in from the start). I mean, yeah I'm assuming a little here, it hasn't been so long, but the answer seems obvious. You wouldn't have agreed to this if you were sure like me. Sure, so sure about something. It's such a good feeling to be sure. For me its obvious, all the signs point to: Live Love, and those things are so sure to happen. But I must say, it's been a ride worth taking. To learn and to grow, that's all I want. Over the last two months I've learned so much, I've seen so much. I love life and I love living. You make me feel alive.


olive you...

I guess that it for now...

Maybe later?

summer

Things are going good, better then expected. It's more then just falling into place but fitting as well. The puzzle will create a picture, I guess the question is when, but does that really matter? Finding each part that fits together is amazing, they are all so obvious.

So what to do.....

This has got me stoked

coffee

I should really write in this thing more often, especially with all that I have to say!

Right now I'm preparing for a road ride with Cedric and Sarah, drinking some coffee Rueben brought me from Nelson. It's the Road Rider blend and its freakin good! It makes me think... think about where I'm from, the smell of the air, the water, the trees, and even more of my family. My father; I haven't heard from him much lately, maybe he's finally busy enough to be content. My brother; I guess we just aren't "old enough" to call and chat. My sister and mother; so busy with the "new life" in their lives, I'm sure a day never becomes dull. So whats up with me? repeat I guess, same old same old. Some new, some old but nothing really changes, not yet at least....

SCHOOL, stop eluding me!! What am I supposed to do? I got your stupid package that tells me all sorts of things about other courses but how do I know that I am signed up and ready! haha, its funny, I feel like a black ant lost in a red ant hill. That's a great challenge, but really the challenge is just getting past all this applying and whatever office mumbo jumbo I have to do.

Ok, so what else? bikes! yup lets ride bikes. Why do I love riding my bikes so much? because its like meditation for me. I just pedal and pedal and my mind works and works. I can think about you, and me and us. I can imagine all plausible possibilities based on the reality that is my life up until now....

realities...

afraid....

alone.....

i'm running away....

Hmmm

So I've come to the conclusion that all girls here are a roller coaster. They are never as they seem and things change weekly. I guess I'm a slow learner for still trying to get to know them, but now I understand why they skip second base and go all the way home the first chance they get... it might be the only chance. I always have the feeling that there is something else at play, or even someone else. Like theres always something to hide, something that holds her back. I know I'm generalizing a little here but I've met more then a few like this. The one thing I dont understand is what makes people so afraid of something new......

Probably the wrong fish in the wrong pond.