whats the deal

Is it a re-occurring lapse in judgement, the desire for the things one can't have, or have I finally gone crazy.

It's really the question 'why'. I know what it is I want, but I don't know why.... Or do I know why and am I just afraid of the confidence that comes with knowing. From a distance I am strong and confident, but when I get close I close my bubble and observe instead of creating actions for reaction. I feel the need to express myself with actions and not words, yet I know the latter will make the actions much easier.

Socializing.

I think I missed that lesson earlier on and now I'm paying for it. Do I even have the patients! It always seems too late, but is it? Why would it still be there if it was too late..

Why; there it is again. I know why, It's because I need to get this lesson in life. How to be confident in myself without being a dick. How to express myself in a way that you can understand, that I can understand. How to continually grow. Sure I've figured out how to not go backwards, but I pause and I know it.

I need you. I know you're out there and you need me too.