emails

On Mon, Dec 5, 2011 at 5:09 PM, Christian wrote:
Whassup lemon pie? Can you tell me if you still have a 3-hole motor mount for the wee Slipso motor?

Did you do any work on your Nooner yet?

On Tues, Dec 6, 2011 at 9:37 AM, Christian wrote:
Earth calling Dayne... come in Dayne...


On Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 11:01 AM, Dayne W wrote:
daynes not here right now! you are speaking with ZORTOGG! RULER OF PLANET ZORTONIA!! I have traveled throughout your sad little planet and replaced all 3 hole mounts with 4 hole! MUAH HA HA HA! You will have to re-drill your firewall to accept a 4 hole mount!!! I AM SO EVIL!! MUAH HA HA HA!!!!

On Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 11:30 AM, Christian wrote:
Nooooooooooo! Not Zortogg! He's even more evil than the previous emperor Poisonfrogg, and his evil twins Eggnogg and Ridemyhogg!! To say nothing of their old grampa Missingcogg. Damn, re-drilling 4 holes is eeeeeeeeeeeevil!

On Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 11:37 AM, Christian wrote:
But then, it would be unfair to not give credit to the evil cousins Smellslikeadogg and Rottinglogg too. Especially since their uncle Lostinthefogg was always trying to steal the limelight.

On Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 11:46 AM, Dayne wrote:
gerrrgleessmuggglleepufffff-BANG!......

Im back, I battled to the end with sword and laser and got him in his weakest point, under his super armor. Theres always a weak point to an evil villain, funny how that is. anyway I couldnt stop him in time so youre going to have to live with the evil that is 4 holes.


On Tues, Dec 6, 2011 at 12:07 PM, Christian wrote:
Yes, 4 holes is eeeevil but then maybe not half as evil as Medusavagg, the 8-holed witch-slut living on the dark side of planet Zortonia. She inspired a TV series on planet earth in the 1970s called Eight is Enough.

One day too long....

It's not what I want at all, but I guess I don't really have a choice.
I will do what I can, ride away to forget.
Push with my muscles, feel the pain.
Forget my heart, "be like a normal human".
Some how I must match this effort to let go.
Ride, ride, ride, ride....


What did I expect? It's going just how I thought it would. (maybe that's the problem, I let that negativity in from the start). I mean, yeah I'm assuming a little here, it hasn't been so long, but the answer seems obvious. You wouldn't have agreed to this if you were sure like me. Sure, so sure about something. It's such a good feeling to be sure. For me its obvious, all the signs point to: Live Love, and those things are so sure to happen. But I must say, it's been a ride worth taking. To learn and to grow, that's all I want. Over the last two months I've learned so much, I've seen so much. I love life and I love living. You make me feel alive.


olive you...

I guess that it for now...

Maybe later?

summer

Things are going good, better then expected. It's more then just falling into place but fitting as well. The puzzle will create a picture, I guess the question is when, but does that really matter? Finding each part that fits together is amazing, they are all so obvious.

So what to do.....

This has got me stoked

coffee

I should really write in this thing more often, especially with all that I have to say!

Right now I'm preparing for a road ride with Cedric and Sarah, drinking some coffee Rueben brought me from Nelson. It's the Road Rider blend and its freakin good! It makes me think... think about where I'm from, the smell of the air, the water, the trees, and even more of my family. My father; I haven't heard from him much lately, maybe he's finally busy enough to be content. My brother; I guess we just aren't "old enough" to call and chat. My sister and mother; so busy with the "new life" in their lives, I'm sure a day never becomes dull. So whats up with me? repeat I guess, same old same old. Some new, some old but nothing really changes, not yet at least....

SCHOOL, stop eluding me!! What am I supposed to do? I got your stupid package that tells me all sorts of things about other courses but how do I know that I am signed up and ready! haha, its funny, I feel like a black ant lost in a red ant hill. That's a great challenge, but really the challenge is just getting past all this applying and whatever office mumbo jumbo I have to do.

Ok, so what else? bikes! yup lets ride bikes. Why do I love riding my bikes so much? because its like meditation for me. I just pedal and pedal and my mind works and works. I can think about you, and me and us. I can imagine all plausible possibilities based on the reality that is my life up until now....

realities...

afraid....

alone.....

i'm running away....

Hmmm

So I've come to the conclusion that all girls here are a roller coaster. They are never as they seem and things change weekly. I guess I'm a slow learner for still trying to get to know them, but now I understand why they skip second base and go all the way home the first chance they get... it might be the only chance. I always have the feeling that there is something else at play, or even someone else. Like theres always something to hide, something that holds her back. I know I'm generalizing a little here but I've met more then a few like this. The one thing I dont understand is what makes people so afraid of something new......

Probably the wrong fish in the wrong pond.

I've been dreaming of sailing away
I'll build a boat out of paper-mâché
No belongings of any concern
I will be gone long before you will return

How can you try to hold on to
Names unequipped with a face
Look closely behind the ones in your mind
And safely beside the one that your heart believes

You're breathing life into brown paper bags
You set one down, so I took a drag
I can feel you in my lungs
Think my heart might jump the gun

Who would you like to hold on to
And who would you like to erase
Cause I can't decide, my heart and my mind
They don't think straight, they don't think straight

We've been very obsessed with the time
Picking the scabs that have grown from our minds
The world is a wonderful place
I wish I were there, I just can't get excited about space

We've been so damn obsessed with the time
Picking the the scabs that have grown from our minds
The world is a wonderful place
I wish I were there, I just can't get excited about space

Can't get excited about space

Now who would you like to hold on to

And who would you like to erase

Everyone seems to be singing for Satan
Guess I will too
What a joke, you make me laugh
Till I turn blue

Everyone’s hair is out to there
What a manly lookin' crew
I don’t think I’ll tease my hair
I’d rather sit here teasin' you.

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more

I seem to (have) lost my cowboy boots
With green fringe running down the sides
My soul machine has made me green
Cause my jeans didn’t turn out tight

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more.

When all these ruins are turned for you
You keep my livin' a life
Your smile rolls away their mouths
And your kiss makes it worth the ride

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more.

In one day?

Hmmmm

Can I do it?

edit: I did

Waiting at the station.
Waiting for the right moves.
Waiting in the basement.
Waiting for the right cues.
Waiting in a daydream.
Waiting in this slipstream.
Waiting...

Waiting in the right bars.
Waiting in the right shoes.
Waiting in a fast car.
Waiting in the airports,
waiting for my air-miles.
Waiting in slow motion,
coming through the turnstiles...

And if you ever change you mind,
you know I'm not hard to find.
And if you ever need someone,
I'll still be waiting...

Waiting with the orphans.
Waiting for the bee stings,
they tell me that success brings.
Waiting in the half-light.
Waiting through your whole life.
Waiting for an ideal, a low deal, a no deal.
Play your stereotype, oh yeah...

And if you ever find the time,
you know I'm not far behind.
And if you ever need someone,
I'll still be waiting...

Just waiting, for a friend.
Waiting...

I said it's alright!
It's alright, my friend...
Yeah it's alright!

Just waiting...

"but even spending 30 minutes a week walking her home I'm just like... oh my god" - Anonymous feelings

"it's weird...

did you tell her that? because it's sweet

oh it's so cute!" - Anonymous girl

Oh they excuses! Gotta love it when everyone else tells me you're stupid! ha! Of course I don't agree but I do think its funny. I mean, if you think I'm so great then why don't you make more of an effort too? Yeah, that's what I thought, a lot of talk and not so much doing. That's ok with me, I don't need to really feel for the entire population. There are some of you though, some who I I wish were closer, some who I'd like to try something different, and I'm sure even more I need to get to know!

When I look at you, that's where I wanna be. Through those eyes, in that mind, in your thoughts.....

The rational way of thought

"I just rationally decided that i love you...but you..i don't" - dl

"maybe girls are futuristic robot from another time! they think instead of feeling" - dl

Although I do not personally believe this is only girls, but this age we live in. Everything is based on numbers, to give something you must receive its equal in return. We don't "feel" anymore, we rationalize everything. Feelings only come second, and even at that they are not equal to the rational thought. Love is long lost in stories and is "too good to be true".
"What do you mean you just feel like doing that for me with nothing in return?" (as the mind overheats because 1=0 1>0).
So how do you explain feelings to someone? How can you recognize your feelings if you are only taught rationality. You have to want to. If you believe something wont work, then of course it wont work! Love can be just like in the story books; boy meets girl (or girl meets girl, whatever), boy falls in love with girl, GIRL IS A FUCKING ROBOT AND RIPS OUT BOYS HEART girl accepts that boy wants nothing in return because giving is his equal (dumb ass, look what love did to you! that ring cost you 1000 gold pieces!), girl and boy live happily ever after. GREAT! But in the rational world it doesn't work like that. Girl meets boy, they assess each others salaries, they budget future kids, they decided they "love" each other, and they live on giving and taking equal amounts and balancing the equation.

Whats wrong with the world today you ask me? People are not numbers, we should not be treated or treat ourselves like we are. Fuck the equation, if it feels good do it, if it doesn't don't. If you want it to work and its not, try harder! Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean it can't work. Fallow your heart, your feelings. Like that guy in that movie said: "happiness is only real when shared".

Once there were green fields
kissed by the sun
Once there were valleys
where rivers used to run
Once there were blue skies
with white clouds high above
Once they were part of
an everlasting love

We were the lovers who strolled through green fields.

Green fields are gone now
parched by the sun
Gone from the valleys
where rivers used to run

Gone with the cold wind
that swept into my heart
Gone with the lovers
who let their dreams depart

Where are the green fields that we used to roam?

I'll never know what made you run away
How can I keep searching when dark clouds hide the day?
I only know there's nothing here for me
Nothing in this wide world left for me to see.

But I'll keep on waiting 'til you return
I'll keep on waiting until the day you learn
You can't be happy while your hearts on the roam
You can't be happy until you bring it home

Home to the green fields and me once again.

That Pull

When the things that you love most are also the things that frustrate you the most what are you supposed to do? Run away? Run towards? Or maybe even just stay put. They say "actions speak louder then words", but sometimes I find words are more important. A little positive encouragement can go a long way, but maybe thats just it. Maybe that long way is whats being avoided. Could that really be it? Looking for nothing, I don't believe that. Communication helps so much. Even communicating about nothing important is sharing energy, sending it back and forth. Energy is what we need to grow, and we need to grow.

I am totally stuck here, wanting something. Not something more but something stable. Something to trust and be sure of. That's a good feeling, thats what family and good friends are for, thats what sharing is. Sharing, I love sharing. I hate being alone and doing things just for myself all the time. it's really just not motivating at all, it feels not worth doing. I want to share. I really miss this motivation in my life and I really need to get it back. I've been trying to fill the void with hobbies and "things" for way too long, but I know its not good enough. Sure its distracting, but it doesn't fill the void...

Feelings is what it really comes down to... I know I always say to let things out instead of bottle them up, but I have to admit I'm a bit of a hypocrite. The biggest most important feeling of all is bottled up inside and bubbles away getting more fierce every minute of every day. I can't help it, I'm growing and so is it. I need to let it out, but wow that is hard. I guess I'm just not ready, but I need that shared energy to keep it in and strong. With that, it will come out at the right time, when the level of sharing has reached it, thats what I'm looking for.....

.......i just want to share

More cheese, cuz seriously....