Everyone seems to be singing for Satan
Guess I will too
What a joke, you make me laugh
Till I turn blue

Everyone’s hair is out to there
What a manly lookin' crew
I don’t think I’ll tease my hair
I’d rather sit here teasin' you.

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more

I seem to (have) lost my cowboy boots
With green fringe running down the sides
My soul machine has made me green
Cause my jeans didn’t turn out tight

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more.

When all these ruins are turned for you
You keep my livin' a life
Your smile rolls away their mouths
And your kiss makes it worth the ride

Cause you writhe like snakes down on the floor
Out you go and here come one hundred more.

In one day?

Hmmmm

Can I do it?

edit: I did

Waiting at the station.
Waiting for the right moves.
Waiting in the basement.
Waiting for the right cues.
Waiting in a daydream.
Waiting in this slipstream.
Waiting...

Waiting in the right bars.
Waiting in the right shoes.
Waiting in a fast car.
Waiting in the airports,
waiting for my air-miles.
Waiting in slow motion,
coming through the turnstiles...

And if you ever change you mind,
you know I'm not hard to find.
And if you ever need someone,
I'll still be waiting...

Waiting with the orphans.
Waiting for the bee stings,
they tell me that success brings.
Waiting in the half-light.
Waiting through your whole life.
Waiting for an ideal, a low deal, a no deal.
Play your stereotype, oh yeah...

And if you ever find the time,
you know I'm not far behind.
And if you ever need someone,
I'll still be waiting...

Just waiting, for a friend.
Waiting...

I said it's alright!
It's alright, my friend...
Yeah it's alright!

Just waiting...

"but even spending 30 minutes a week walking her home I'm just like... oh my god" - Anonymous feelings

"it's weird...

did you tell her that? because it's sweet

oh it's so cute!" - Anonymous girl

Oh they excuses! Gotta love it when everyone else tells me you're stupid! ha! Of course I don't agree but I do think its funny. I mean, if you think I'm so great then why don't you make more of an effort too? Yeah, that's what I thought, a lot of talk and not so much doing. That's ok with me, I don't need to really feel for the entire population. There are some of you though, some who I I wish were closer, some who I'd like to try something different, and I'm sure even more I need to get to know!

When I look at you, that's where I wanna be. Through those eyes, in that mind, in your thoughts.....

The rational way of thought

"I just rationally decided that i love you...but you..i don't" - dl

"maybe girls are futuristic robot from another time! they think instead of feeling" - dl

Although I do not personally believe this is only girls, but this age we live in. Everything is based on numbers, to give something you must receive its equal in return. We don't "feel" anymore, we rationalize everything. Feelings only come second, and even at that they are not equal to the rational thought. Love is long lost in stories and is "too good to be true".
"What do you mean you just feel like doing that for me with nothing in return?" (as the mind overheats because 1=0 1>0).
So how do you explain feelings to someone? How can you recognize your feelings if you are only taught rationality. You have to want to. If you believe something wont work, then of course it wont work! Love can be just like in the story books; boy meets girl (or girl meets girl, whatever), boy falls in love with girl, GIRL IS A FUCKING ROBOT AND RIPS OUT BOYS HEART girl accepts that boy wants nothing in return because giving is his equal (dumb ass, look what love did to you! that ring cost you 1000 gold pieces!), girl and boy live happily ever after. GREAT! But in the rational world it doesn't work like that. Girl meets boy, they assess each others salaries, they budget future kids, they decided they "love" each other, and they live on giving and taking equal amounts and balancing the equation.

Whats wrong with the world today you ask me? People are not numbers, we should not be treated or treat ourselves like we are. Fuck the equation, if it feels good do it, if it doesn't don't. If you want it to work and its not, try harder! Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean it can't work. Fallow your heart, your feelings. Like that guy in that movie said: "happiness is only real when shared".

Once there were green fields
kissed by the sun
Once there were valleys
where rivers used to run
Once there were blue skies
with white clouds high above
Once they were part of
an everlasting love

We were the lovers who strolled through green fields.

Green fields are gone now
parched by the sun
Gone from the valleys
where rivers used to run

Gone with the cold wind
that swept into my heart
Gone with the lovers
who let their dreams depart

Where are the green fields that we used to roam?

I'll never know what made you run away
How can I keep searching when dark clouds hide the day?
I only know there's nothing here for me
Nothing in this wide world left for me to see.

But I'll keep on waiting 'til you return
I'll keep on waiting until the day you learn
You can't be happy while your hearts on the roam
You can't be happy until you bring it home

Home to the green fields and me once again.

That Pull

When the things that you love most are also the things that frustrate you the most what are you supposed to do? Run away? Run towards? Or maybe even just stay put. They say "actions speak louder then words", but sometimes I find words are more important. A little positive encouragement can go a long way, but maybe thats just it. Maybe that long way is whats being avoided. Could that really be it? Looking for nothing, I don't believe that. Communication helps so much. Even communicating about nothing important is sharing energy, sending it back and forth. Energy is what we need to grow, and we need to grow.

I am totally stuck here, wanting something. Not something more but something stable. Something to trust and be sure of. That's a good feeling, thats what family and good friends are for, thats what sharing is. Sharing, I love sharing. I hate being alone and doing things just for myself all the time. it's really just not motivating at all, it feels not worth doing. I want to share. I really miss this motivation in my life and I really need to get it back. I've been trying to fill the void with hobbies and "things" for way too long, but I know its not good enough. Sure its distracting, but it doesn't fill the void...

Feelings is what it really comes down to... I know I always say to let things out instead of bottle them up, but I have to admit I'm a bit of a hypocrite. The biggest most important feeling of all is bottled up inside and bubbles away getting more fierce every minute of every day. I can't help it, I'm growing and so is it. I need to let it out, but wow that is hard. I guess I'm just not ready, but I need that shared energy to keep it in and strong. With that, it will come out at the right time, when the level of sharing has reached it, thats what I'm looking for.....

.......i just want to share

More cheese, cuz seriously....

more awesome

there's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed....

Yes yes. splish splash. wish wash. up down. in out.
where are we going? why am I so needy? don't push too hard.

Diggin' it

There's something special about you, I've known it the whole time. I'm crazy for more, but happy with what I have. There are so many different paths to take, choices to make, things to learn. Sure there is a lot to stress about, a lot to deal with, but when I look past that, live in the now and feel the surrounding energy I'm alive. That's what its all about. I don't know what I've been waiting for! Sure, money is an issue, but why let it control my life? If you're not living then whats the point. SHARE! why not? seriously. I have a lot of things, but that's it, they are just things. "Happiness is only real when shared". That's what I want. Share my happiness, experiences, life, and everything in between. Why not?

and as I crawled into bed I realized, it's love I have to share...

Rollercoaster week

What a week. It started out just PERFECT! riding, more riding, cuddling, riding again, then Thursday morning BAM!! Yelled at a jay-walker "get off the road asshole", he just happened to be the guy that's having troubles at work. Yeah he was breaking the law, but me knowing that hes got issues I am supposed to refrain from yelling at him. So I get in more trouble for that even though he tries to start a fight with me at work. Seriously, I really hate pedestrians that stand 4-5 feet off of the corner at a red light! You are ON THE FUCKING ROAD and I am turning around a corner. Yes you are in my way and yes it is YOU that is in the wrong. Get on the fucking sidewalk. "Yeah but Dayne, how many red lights do to run on your way to work". I try not to burn any lights, but if I did, do you think I would be pissed if someone yelled at me for breaking the law? I guess I might yell back "fuck you" but its true, they are right. Anyway, two wrongs don't make a right. Even if I did something wrong that doesn't mean someone else can!

OK ok, that day started off terrible, but its nice out. You said maybe Thursday, I'm already sleep deprived but maybe you will wake me up... no, not Thursday.... argh I've got a tummy ache....

Friday, finally. Yesterday sucked and Wednesday was tooo long, I'm tired, I want you.... you might be busy? .. I'll wait all day to find out, but it only makes me want it more... whatever its not gonna happen. The "I don't know" frustrates me, I think of the worst possibilities (always). Wake up Dayne, you love life!.

Uhhh yes, saturday is mellow. not too much work and the weather is calm. I can dig it. Maybe some riding after work? yes yes! that will make me happy! SMASH, ouch, a tree. Ok, lets go again.... SLIIIIPPP! wooo that mud is SLIPPERY! a few more tries and I smash my knee so hard on my front wheel its bent and I can barely walk! OUCH!!!

I'm a big baby! I need comforting! ha! waittt a second, reality, wake up. GOT IT. I'm selfish.

I have no reason to worry, or be upset, or be a baby about anything! everything is fucking awesome (except my inability to dirtjump, causing my knee pain).

seriously, I'm dumb and you're amazing.

Vroom vroom.

Sore, tired, worn out, AWESOME. Seriously, fuck yes. Ride ride ride cuddle ride wheelie ride cuddle cuddle ride wheelie jump ride wheelie cuddle = The Summer Plan. Seriously, I have ridden my mountain bike more this year then I have the last 3 years put together, I LOVE it. I am having a perfect start to the summer. I have everything I need and most things I want. Lets keep doing this, more and more, you and me.

ouch!

SLICE! a fucking Hispanic ninja rock jumped out and bit me mountain biking! Oh well.

bliss

This is what its all about. Mountain biking to me, the winner is the one who has the most fun. Life is FUCKING great. Things are really going in a perfect direction for me this summer. Everything is awesome so lets keep it that way!

especially you...

Good Morning.....

what does it take....

questions

"hmmm... do veggies have an equivalent to monkeys? ...made of soya?"

I dunno the answer to this, but it was an interesting question brought to my attention. What can I eat instead of monkeys?

There are a lot of interesting questions these days. Mostly where to go, which path to take, and how to climb it. There's many ways to skin a cat, but which one is for me. Some times the question is more of a "when". Timing is critical and I think its easy to miss with a lack of confidence. My new policy is "GO FOR GOLD", but thats tough.

Either way you end up silver or bronze.

time

The sun shines, the days go by, things change. "Woman of my dreams, lives right down my street". Doing more and more each day, it makes me want more and more. I can push if there is a pull. Some things work and some things don't, that's learning. Sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes it's instant. What works; this. What doesn't work; non of this. More more more, push, grow, experience. LIVE! For the sake of humanity, just live....

...with me

Simplicity

I've got too much shit. I'm tired of it. I want to chill out and get more simple. I guess that's how it goes though, you try a bunch of different thing until you find the right. Well I've definitely found a few! Who wants bikes? Come and get'em! Just Stuff too. Do you think I have "stuff" that you want? Let me know, I probably want you to have it too!

PS- fuck you work. I can't believe you want to control my spare time. You will surly lose more doing this. Lucky for you I've expected this and I cannot be bothered to waste my energy on your bullshit. Its here, I've let it out and that's it. Enjoy.

frolic with me in the grass....

To do

It's not rare that you make me feel stupid for putting in the extra. Its not the first time I've had this problem either. It seems I enjoy putting energy where its not deserved (whether needed or not), and lack the ability to put it where there's a return or mutual share. All in all, I still catch myself saying "that was stupid" a lot more often for things I don't do rather then things I do. Gotta raise the bar.

I'm working on it.

If only you knew

...and understood. I dont really understand either I guess. There is just something that drives me forward. Something that tells me "it's important", something. I really am consumed by it. No matter what I tell myself, if it be "this isnt worth it" or "I should forget it". Nothing ever works. J'ai besoin toi, c'est tout. C'est pas vraiment dificile mais c'est quand meme dur...

1

I love only you, and thats all its ever been.

you know who you are....

I've got a piano...

or at least it sounds like George Winston is in my house plying piano. The gainclone really rocks it, extremely fast punchy bass, smooth airy mids, and euphoric highs. Went together with basically no issues, but of course theses still little bits and pieces I want to change/upgrade. Anyone looking for a premium quality, hifi stereo amp with 40w+ per channel @ 8ohms give me a shout and I'll build you one. After you get a listen to mine you will have to change your panties!

on the other ends of life, nothing changes......

why do I love you so....

More new kicks!

New shoeeeeeeeeees! Sylvester is turning me into a shoe addict, seriously!

What the fuck is wrong? It's the WU bitch.

seriously, wheres my fucking bike! FUCK! 8 fucking weeks is fucking ridiculous! ARG!

and you, jeeze, what is it about you.....

TOYS!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I have a problem. I just love to get stuff, take it apart, modify it a bit until it breaks, then upgrade it and continue on the wonderful circle. What happened to "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"??? I guess no one ever taught me that rule! This is my newest toy, I've already broken it like 5 times, not I have to custom make a piece for it.. HAHA! that should be fun..

I gotta chillax on the hobbies. This weekend its clean time. The closet of doom needs to be destroyed and made useful! This weekend, no jokes!

Tailwind

Here's a better picture in some better lighting for you. Isn't is so cute!

One days work

Even after all that creation in one day I still haven't come to an understanding. I guess I'll just have to continue wondering and searching.

Meet Tailwind.

Rainy days...

Rainy days are good for a few things; movies, cuddling, thinking, and tinkering. Today I'm doing the last two. I started from scratch on this little plane this afternoon. Its a simple build so I wont get frustrated and that allows my mind to stay clear. since I'm not really thinking about the plane and mostly just about life and you, this plane is for you. I don't know what you're doing or where you are, but this little plane has been my happiness and warmth for today.

If only you realized what was at stake....

live till you die...

Thats right, Im posting pictures here cuz I feel like it and its a free world. Things change and thats normal, dont be surprised if they change again little muffin!

its cute when you act girly...

More like.

Boards of Canada really rock it in the cold, lonely, winter months. Sorry neighbors.

AHHHHHHHHHHH
need to vent. just sitting around doing nothing.

Seriously, what the hell! I don't understand anything at all. NOTHING! zero. Make some freakin' sense! how hard is it? If you want something, go get it. If you don't then stay away from it. At least be clear, its not that hard is it?

I've gotta say something, but I need the chance. I can't just scream out of my window, I'm tired of this superficial internet mumbo jumbo. Sure I love the ability to re-read what I have to say, correct my errors and change my mind about whats coming out before I click that SEND button, but really, is that real? real is the now. Its what comes out as I exhale. It's the real me. It's your breath on my skin. It's the warmth of being close....
The sharing of lessons
the trust and respect
the two parts that make a whole
the need to grow
Life

ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

Dead Meadow - Either Way

I woke up with a start
on some dark southern highway
barreling through the
hot summer night
and through the black
our winding path
cut only by two headlights
and I can't tell if we're
running from or coming to
either way my love
we'll make it through

Rest your head let yourself sleep
don't give a thought
to worry or fear
I've got reason enough for the night
sight enough to see our way clear
and I can't tell if we're
running from or coming to
either way my love
the night is almost through

So the new year has started, but does it feel any different? Everything just seems stagnant or quiet and relaxed, I can't tell. I feel the same as last year, but not the same. One year ago, this was the peak, and now its an all time low. Where are we going? The tension is still between but the energy transfer is not, why is that?

2010, what will you bring? What will change for me? Why? There it is again, why. It always fallows me. The reason it does happen, or doesn't.

why